On Deeper End of Life
Friday, October 31st, 2008It twirls around the depths of my heart,
Pressured beyond comprehension of control,
A structured phobia of closure,
Lies uncomfortable rage boiling in my heart,
Wanting to let loose this sadness and scream through my heavy lungs
This burden I carry affects everything I am,
No mood, no cause, no path, no wanting,
On deeper end of life,
Like a fall so hard as the wind rushes to me,
I hit the ground feeling harsh, dank and cold
Death is nowhere nearby,
It is not allowed to where I am,
It toils me and it teases me,
The playing is annoying, irritating and unacceptable,
And it comes back again and again
For each day in a week it has been dreadful,
I feel the bottom rises to drag me down,
Nothing of nothing is felt deeply on my end,
The awful of being alone in this matter,
Where the unbearable is continuous to no finale
How much more can one take when the day ends,
It could be weeks or months without a single smile,
This is cruel and difficult as time passes,
To be tortured emotionally that renders my physical existence terribly,
To give up and let go who I am then maybe it will end this for once
I have lost faith in many things and yet still holding on,
My struggle is hard and my life knows that maybe it’s time to yearn,
To give up and let what life there is to stop the suffering,
But my will is threading and letting go my beliefs is what makes me incapable
To what future holds, I will know if I yearn or my will is strong
