1) Just want to suggest putting in total number of words used (I am curious) since your assignment has words limitation.

2) “.. green ooze were booze to their veins”. Ha ha, love that line.

3) The first paragraph reads like an openning of a full story instead of a chapter in the middle of the story. I would have started right with the atmosphere of the celebration but that is just me.

4) Excellent story for such a short work. You managed to either tell or hint on the culture of your version of the orcs. Am I right to assume Durbine is a title an orc calls their leader and Mok-Dai meant father?

5) I am also assuming that in Nar-Tor-Ruh, the young orc will need to fight his father to victory to prove his own worth before taking his father’s position?

6) Damn.. how you come up with all those names? I sucked at that.

7) Sorry, you still need to work on the dialogue.

Well, you always know I have much opinion. Despite everything, the depth of your setting exeeded my expectation. Good job there and let’s see if you will surprised me again in your next assignment. Cheers!
(or should I just “chuckle”?)